Was that a top-hat on my head or a lampshade?

So NOW I know what they're talkin' about when they joke about wild office parties.

This is one of those days where you wake up and chronicle whether you've done anything you really shouldn'a. Not, ahem, "physically", mind you (wink, wink)...I'm a little long in the tooth for that kind of bad boy behavior. But rather the "WOO-HOO look at me dancing on this table" kind of behavior.

I've been down at this industry conference in Southern California with big-wigs and mucky-mucks since Thursday and what's a doofus like me suppossed to do to fit in with the likes of them? "Play along" became my mantra. So if the ARTs agenda said "Meet and Greet," I met and gret. If the organizers wanted us to "Think Fast" on a panel, I thought fast. And if they wanted a Costume Party, I costumed it right on up.

But more of that after a message from our sponsor.

Glamourocity...brought to you by the fine people at ARTs.

ARTs stands for Accessories Resource Team. It's a group comprised of retailers, wholesellers, manufacturers and sales reps with the mission to bring a little (or a lot) of communication into the industry. The ARTs conference this year was held at the beautiful Ritz-Carlton (and they're not payin' me to say that) in the leafy, manse-filled town of Pasedena. Homescapes has won a couple of awards from the ARTs group (as we've trumpeted all over this "humble" website) and when customers look at those gleaming crystal trophies (that we display front and center on the cash-wrap) and ask, "What's ARTs?," I've always been a little bit stumped ('cause I wasn't a member and I only knew them from their Dallas Awards Galas.) Anyway, enough already with all these parenthesis' and sidebar comments (jeez I'm making myself dizzy).

Since ARTs has been nice enough to acknowledge us with their awards, I figured the least I could do was go to their annual conference and see what ARTs is really all about. And so far, I've had a great time, attended some interesting seminars and met a lot of very nice people. There's even been enough time scheduled to enjoy the hotel, so I've relaxed when I can, run every morning and pretty much kept my early to bed, early to rise routine intact.

Until last night.

Last night involved a cowboy hat, fringed jacket and a whole lotta shamelessness. See, the theme for the conference-ending party was "Top Hats, Tails and Tiaras" and they wanted us to dress like old-school Hollywood movie stars. And since I couldn't find my top-hat I packed a a black hat and neck kerchief, deerskin fringed jacket and boots and went as Jon Voight from Midnight Cowboy.

The REAL Jon Voight as the Midnight Cowboy...

...and the FAKE Jon Voight as the Midnight Cowboy. (I'm the one on the right in case you can't see through my disguise...my friend and fellow retailer Camille from Camille's Collection in Scottsdale was the featherly fantastic one).

Of course, most people thought I was dressed up as a character from Gunsmoke, Bonanza or Brokeback Mountain. Or Glen Campbell...always Glen Campbell.

But nope, I was channeling "Jon Voight." Then later as the evening progressed I was channeling "Jon Voight after too much champagne." And after the dancing started I was channeling a really sweaty "Jon Voight after too much champagne."

Hmmm...this might explain why no one wanted to sit next to me this morning at breakfast.

Blue Plate Special

For the first time in years I've seen the other side of midnight in New York and all it took was a gift bag, free dinner and the ultimate swag, a trophy. And luckily, this time I didn't need to get nekid.

When Gifts and Decorative Accessories magazine gave us an award a few years ago for our promotional stuff (including that infamous fundraising calendar where Beau and I doffed our duds for a good cause), we had to sit through the mortification of seeing ourselves on the big screen in our discreetly-cropped birthday suits.

Last night at Tavern on the Green in Central Park, the video about our website had the equally mortifying moment of showing our primitive attempts at conquering the internet with our original website.

Don't get me wrong, at the time we were proud of it. But website design has come along way since the stone ages of the 90's so when they were talking about how innovative we are, but showing the old site, both Keri and I blanched and flushed. Luckily, though they got to the new site before we could stand up, wave our hands over our heads and yell, "No, no...that's not it!!!"

Still, they said some very nice things about Keri's hard work in both the magazine article and in the video, and last night they gave her the recognition that she really, really deserves and I'm proud of her.

She deserves an award for not killing me, too, while we've rebuilt and relaunched the site. (I'm pretty picky for a guy who doesn't know his way around a computer.)

So last night we got to let our hair done and have a good time at both the dinner and afterwards. Our table-mates were fun and interesting (which isn't always a given at a banquet) and we ran into some partners in crime from the Dallas awards night of mayhem a few years back.

And we've lived to tell the tale and shop another day. I'm off to the trenches of the Gift Show to find what I can find, but when I can get Keri to wake up I'll have her add her spin (and photos).

Thompson Lange


So I slept a little longer than I expected...

And when I woke up, I was back in Rhode Island with over 250 photos to assimilate and organize and prepare into a video spectacular!

panorama of the patio at Tavern on the Green
where the 90th Annual Retail Excellence Awards took place
Sunday August 12, 2007.

Or maybe it was all a dream? Sometimes it's just hard to tell.

We have their version of the night and OUR version of the night here on the site. Theirs is straightforward, ours, well.



So notes on our video:
The night of the Awards Ceremony, one of the hosts made us pick from four songs which was to be the introductory song of the categories. Of course, the Beatles "beat" 'em all. I mean - it's the BEATLES. Who can resist their simple elegance?

And as for some of the visuals:
In my circle we use a lotta different slang for money; mostly because we never have any. For those of you that do not suffer this tragedy and therefore just refer to money as, well.. money, here's the rundown: cabbage, dough, cash, love, buck(s), clams, bones, green, spinach: all of these terms reference money, and there are plenty more. The Sasquatch was just for fun. Enjoy! I did.

Keri Marion