Shout

Confessional:

Do you know that feeling when you go outside your comfort zone? That sort of nauseous, but excited, though nervous and breathless feeling you get right before you go and do it anyway?

Ahh. Welcome to the pit of my stomach.

It's goofy-sounding that I would feel this way about a concert I'm doing tonight with a group I'm in, considering six months ago I asked to be in this group without a gun to my head or theirs, but I'll tell you why tonight is the culmination of a lot of hard work...and I don't mean the singing. Because I'm a motor mouth, people have often described me as "high-energy" or "enthusiastic," but what I am and actually have always been is a nervous nelly (if you know that old-fashioned term.) And while I can't help my natural disposition, I've been working awhile on not letting social-anxiety and fear stop me from going forward career-wise.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not implying that singing is my career. I'm one of those people who upon being heard singing is worth the reminder to keep my day job. But my day job in the last few years has involved speaking in public in situations over which I have little or no control. So about 4 years ago after a friend approached me about singing in her church choir, I realized that the only thing scarier than speaking in public is singing in public and that maybe standing up before people in the safe environment of a church would help me overcome my paralyzing fear of public speaking. So I said yes.

The saying "yes" isn't as insane as it sounds, though. I've used singing before as a path to reaching a completely different goal. When I was a kid I was restless and slightly claustrophobic about living in a town as small as Carmel. My dad had skipped out and my mom had moved north so I was raised here by my grandmother, who was that one fantastic and inspirational person every kid needs in their life. She encouraged me to reach beyond myself and my circumstances and though she couldn't give me money, she could and did give me love and support.

And a boot to the butt now and then to push me outside myself.

I was quiet and shy, and I'll never forget the evening when we were sitting at the card table playing gin rummy and she put down the cards and said, "I love playing cards with you and spending time with you, so don't take me wrong. But you have to leave this house and find friends your own age." She said it kindly, but emphatically so I had to do it.

But I was an unatheletic geek, so whatchya gonna do?

What every unatheletic geek in High School has done since the dawn of time. Join the chorus. Not only did I finally make some friends, when I found out about a national Youth Choir that toured Europe I set my goals to use singing as a means to travel and get myself out o' this here town. Long story short, traveling and that exposure to the big wide world led to my career as an importer (and ironically back to Carmel). And the rest is history.

Now that's way more than anyone needs to know (which is, of course, the very definition of blogging), so I'll wrap this up. But if you're at the theater tonight, when I step forward to the mic and start singing the Animal House anthem "Shout," (a song inherited from my predecessor and so unlike me it's ridiculous), I'm shoutin' to the heavens, happy happy happy to finally be comfortable in my own skin.

History

The Grove Homescapes, Pacific Grove
Store Opening
December 10th, 1996

In 1994 Beau was living back home here on the Monterey Peninsula and he came across a building that he thought would make a fantastic store. Only trouble was, it was condemned and butt ugly. But somehow he talked me and our Dad, Tom Finklang, and Dad's wife, Claude, into tackling the project. With the skillful and invaluable help of Rhett Allen Smith, our class-mate from Carmel Woods School on Dolores, we set out to make a silk purse out of the sow's ear of the old Grove Laundry in Pacific Grove.

The first year of construction was pretty daunting, considering that when I say "we built the building," for the first year of construction/demolition I really mean it. Idealistic and cheap, Rhett, Beau and I only brought in help when we couldn't do something ourselves. Dad would come down from the Bay Area whenever he could and pitch in, wading and working with us through the mud and the debris.

Eventually an unexpected deadline necessitated bringing in a crew of talented craftsmen to help us out. Unfortunately, Claude had developed breast cancer and we hoped the adding of hands would help us complete the project before she died. While we didn't get the main showroom completed in time, we were able to get the gazebo finished and operating as a garden shop before she passed away, and on her birthday December 10th, 1996 we opened The Grove Homescapes.

One of the last additions to the building's exterior that we made before moving on to the interior finish work was a cornerstone plaque commemorating the project. Even at the time, because of the circumstances with Claude, we knew we were creating a memorial that would outlast our own lives.

Today my Dad passed away and I wanted to bring the project back into view before memories fade of the time when we thought all things were possible.

Thanks for letting me share this with you.

Before...

...After

Before...

...AfterBefore...

...After

And During...